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Swiping through friends' dating apps gives me a legal high.Like a lot of other women in long-term relationships, I totally missed the online-dating boat.One’s relationship status is one of the most private things people tend to consider “fair game” to base very personal judgments and assumptions about our value as human beings on.

In reality, they probably just let me do it because of how much it fascinates me.

When online dating works, it can be a great way to connect with lots of people you wouldn't have otherwise met.

But when it doesn't, the experience can send you down the everyone-is-awful-so-I'm-probably-dying-alone spiral. I'd rather meet a great guy randomly and organically than deal with the constant rejection and exhaustion.""You just don't get that spark that you do when you know you like someone and it's instant and wonderful. It's like you try to put a face to the person you're talking to, but it just feels like this contrived entity.

This piece is Wagatwe Wanjuki’s first dispatch from the front lines of her romantic life for the #Its Totally Me dating series, which follows Establishment writers Wanjuki and Katie Klabusich as they utilize professional matchmakers and the insights of various experts to get to the bottom of their perpetual singledom. So the response to the inaugural #Its Totally Me post has been overwhelming — but definitely positive!

It was great to see comments from people who said that they could relate to being chronically and involuntarily single and feeling alone.

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